August 26, 2013, (although this story obviously dates back further than this, but this will be a good starting point for this chapter), C - as we'll call her for all extensive purposes - wrote out a prayer to God in reflection to Jacob's prayer in Genesis 32:9-12
Genesis 32:9-12 New International Version (NIV)
9 Then Jacob prayed, “O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, Lord, you who said to me, ‘Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,’ 10 I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two camps. 11 Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. 12 But you have said, ‘I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.’”
C's Prayer:"God, I feel a connection to Jacob's prayer in Genesis 32:9-12 -> is this what You desire of me? God, I'm not even sure what You have promised - did You really say we're to go to Costa Rica? I feel lost and confused, unsure of what it is you want. I feel like anytime something good comes our way, we chalk it up to You guiding us. Is that really the truth? I just want peace. I want happiness in You. Ok, let's be honest with each other ... I want you to provide me a way out. Or at least a direction if that's what You want of me - to leave here. Guidance ... that is my ultimate goal ... God, I need guidance! Please ...
I love you, Amen."
C had been struggling with her current job because she wasn't content there. It was a constant struggle because her boss was good to her and her family, going out of his way to take care of them in times of struggles. But yet C wanted something more. When C took this job she thought it'd be a short term thing. In her head, C and her husband would be in Costa Rica within a year doing Mission Work. God had a different plan for them. So this short term job turned into a full time job with lots of overtime and un-requested hours. C's family life and personal life took a major hit. She was unhappy and complacent in life (as you can read by that prayer above!) She was afraid to leave, because what could she do? She had a degree - but no experience. Who would hire that? No one would as she was told by college counselors at least. She knew her family needed her income, but slowly. she was losing it.
Over the next couple of weeks, God showed her that there was a way out. He placed certain people in her life to talk and discuss her current job situation with her and it always ended with "you need to move on". September 9, she made the final decision. It unfortunately didn't go the way she had hoped (C has never been good with confrontations of any sort - human error :D), but she was out of there. Out of there, and jobless - which also meant income-less.
Within a month's time, God had given provision to C and her family. She found a part time temp job. To which she thanked God saying:
"God,
I cannot thank You enough for Your provision in our desperate time of need. I know it's not much, but it's better than nothing. Thank You for the opportunity I have to do something I love and enjoy, but continue to watch over our needs .... Thank you again for Your love and consideration poured over my life. Amen"
She couldn't thank her Heavenly Father enough. He had given her the out she requested and then blessed her. Through the next few months, she grew and learn and garnered understanding. There were rough patches, like December, when she wasn't ever called to come in, or during January-February because of the birth of S. However, after February, God abundantly blessed C by giving her three options instead of one for the next three months. Again, she prayed on April 25:
"God, thank You for being faithful in Your promises to us. Thank you for watching over us and providing for us. I know deep down that You will always take care of me and mine, but I don't always live that out. Thank you for this reminder from Your word (Joshua 21:45, see C for detailed journal if lost :D) and for the provisions of multiple job dates next month. I love you. Amen."
Then, when it was beginning to look grim with no income over the summer, God again provided - this time a full time temp job for a month doing exactly what she had been groomed to do.
Now, the next couple weeks proved greatly distressing to C. She sent many resumes and applications out, went on a few interviews, and always was turned down. She was disappointed because she had a taste of what it was like full time and she wanted to drink it in. But, she did always have that part time temp job to lean on in a worst case scenario. When her options looked grim on the full time front, she began to search out other part time temp positions and got a few bites. Then, she got a call on Thursday, July 24.
Now C missed this call (she was sleeping, but SHHH! don't tell her husband! :D), and returned it later that day - to a voicemail. By Friday afternoon she still hadn't heard back about the interview so she thought to herself "maybe I should try again". This time when she called, she said to the office "I don't want his voicemail" and they made sure to grab him. They wanted to still interview, but they wanted to close out and make a choice, so they asked if she could still make it by 3 (mind you, it was 2 at the time). C quickly said, yes, of course - knowing her mother who she was meeting could wait on her for an interview! - but that she'd have to bring her 2 children if that was okay. He okayed it and off C, E, and S went.
*Let me give E a shout out here, because he was so amazing during this interview. He sat back and played his games and let his mom take care of her business. S, was awesome too, she slept - such a good baby lol!*
The interview seemed flawless, C's best interview yet. She remembered to talk herself up, sell herself, let him know that she was desirable in this profession. He told her he would call her on Monday by noon with the final decision.
Monday, July 28, 12 pm came and went and C hadn't heard a thing. She was frustrated, annoyed, and hurt. Why must she continue through this pain?? (C can be a bit of a baby, and sometimes may overreact to things .... it's a character flaw, but hey she's human!) C's hubby sent her to his grandma's for an early dinner and so C packed up the kids and headed over. While she was driving, she missed a call ... and a voicemail. It was the call she had been waiting for. Fumbling with her phone, she quickly returned the call, only to meet his voicemail. Knowing that last time she left it, he never got it, she called back again and asked for him directly. They patched her through to him and she was offered a full time teaching position for 7th/8th grade Communication Arts.
Yet again, God had provided for C and her family.
It's been a whirlwind of a week for C and school starts on Tuesday - yes this coming Tuesday, August 5! But man, is C ready to go!
God,
Thank You for always providing for us, even when we think the worse and we're down and out of luck. Of course, that's when we need Your provisions the most, and You seem to know what it takes to be our Savior - in more ways than just that. Thank You, thank You, THANK YOU! You are too good to us.
Thank You for growing me to the point where I trust in You enough to know Your guidance and that You'll always provide a way. Help me to always live this concept out, because I do have moments of doubt - yes, I remember I'm human God, but I know I can be better.
Thank You for giving my family the chance to be stable, to be on our feet, and to get ourselves to a good place. This job acceptance isn't just about finances, it's about family attitude and growth as well. Having this position changes more than just our finances - help us to make those changes for the good.
God, I seriously cannot thank You enough. It's hard enough to express the joy I feel right now. Help me to remember this when I feel broken, beat up, and bruised after rough days. I love you Lord. Amen.
In Christ's Love,
~C :)
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