8When the Philistines heard that David had been anointed king over all Israel, all the Philistines went up to search for David. But David heard of it and went out against them. 9Now the Philistines had come and made a raid in the Valley of Rephaim. 10And David inquired of God, "Shall I go up against the Philistines? Will you give them into my hand?" And the Lord said to him, "Go up, and I will give them into your hand." 11And he went up to Baal-perazim, and David struck them down there. And David said, "God has broken through my enemies by my hand, like a bursting flood." Therefore the name of that place is called Baal-perazim. 12And they left their gods there, and David gave command, and they were burned.
13And the Philistines yet again made a raid in the valley. 14And when David again inquired of God, God said to him, "You shall not go up after them; go around and come against them opposite the balsam trees.15And when you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the balsam trees, then go out to battle, for God has gone out before you to strike down the army of the Philistines." 16And David did as God commanded him, and they struck down the Philistine army from Gibeon to Gezer.17And the fame of David went out into all lands, and the Lord brought the fear of him upon all nations.
I Chronicles 14:8-17 (emphasis mine)
I don't think it's a secret that I've been struggling with my placement this past year. When I accepted the position at CSR, I believed God had answered me concretely and opened the door for me to teach here in Cincinnati. CSR proved to be a challenging school to teach in for many reasons. Regardless, I did my best to remain steadfast and keep my head high as I followed God's direction in teaching here.
Lately I've been thinking andsort of praying about next steps. Where do I go from here? Do I stay at CSR or move on. Everyday I have an attitude change. One minute I think "I can stay and keep doing this" although that's usually followed by a "except this needs to change". Then the next minute I think "I can't wait to get away from here and move on to something else." That's usually followed by a "Finnegan, can you please hurry up so I can just be done already?!" Maybe that's all just pregnancy hormones - you know going back and forth, changing my mind and my moods. It's been a hard year because too often I catch myself comparing CSR to PMA and while at first glance they have a lot of similarities, when you get down into it, they are very different places. Not to mention 5/6 is a totally different world of teaching than 7/8!
I've been doing this reading plan from YouVersion (for a long time ... I typically find myself missing a day and then not ever catching myself up, although lately I've been knocking it out!! Whoo, go me! :D) called "Discipleship Journal's Book-at-a-time Reading Plan". This plan gives you 4-5 chapters each day to read, the first few are from the same book and the last is from one of the "poetry" books - you know, Psalm, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon/Songs (depending on your version lol). Saturday's reading was in I Chronicles and the second entry came from chapter 14. A short chapter, but the second section hit me deep. Here's the section one more time in case you forgot what you first read (I know I would've!)
I Chronicles 14:8-17 (emphasis mine)
Why did it hit me deep? Because I see David's faithfulness playing out and realized I haven't been that faithful. I've beenassuming and wishing. Verse 10 shows us that David prayed to God initially about attacking the Philistines, and God answered him directly. "Go up and I will give them into your hand." After following God's directions and defeating them, the Philistines again tried to raid the land. In verse 14, instead of assuming and wishing for a result about how to fight them this time, David again went to God and asked "what should I do? God changed attack plans. "Don't go up, go around from behind the trees and then attack. I will be there before you and crush them" (paraphrased ... obviously). Again, David followed faithfully his instructions and beat the Philistines.
Here's what I learned - I can't assume God wants me to stay because he originally opened this door. I can't assume God wants me to move on simply because I'm not happy. I can't wish for things to just fall into place. I need to have an open dialogue with Him about what I want and need and how I feel about it. But not only that, I need to just be straight with Him and ask simply "What should I do?" and wait for His response. I've been spendingmore time whining and crying out about this and that and how I feel than I have simply asking "What should I do, Lord?" and being still.
We've talked about prayer a lot at youth group and have been focusing a lot of our beginning time on prayer and going to God with things. Josh has emphasized time and time again, God wants to hear from us. God wants to know how I feel, even if He already knows it, because He wants to be my BFF. How many of you have BFF's that know there's something up before you've even said anything?! That's how God works! Not only that, but God wants to give us directions on how to deal with the problems and requests we bring to Him - if we'd just listen. Again, how many of you have BFF's that you go to for advice and then after spilling your guts just turn around and leave before they say anything? It's just not normal behavior to do that to your BFF! You wait for them to give you some direction, even if they sit in silence to sort out all the details, you sit and wait. This is how we need to treat our prayer time with God! Yet, too often, we cut it short. "Well I said everything I needed to say. Love ya. Goodnight." God commands us to "be still and know that I am God" in Psalm 46:10. We need to take the time to sit in His presence and know what comes next.
Please understand, this is just as much a call to action for myself as it is to all Christians. I struggle greatly in my own personal prayer life inmaintaining and sustaining it. So if you're feeling convicted, it's the Holy Spirit working in you, just like He's working in me as I write this and read my study plan. We are in this together - we need to be up front and honest with each other as Christians to not just hold each other accountable but to HELP each other in our weaknesses. We've gotten away from this in the American church (maybe even in other countries as well!) James 5:16 (emphasis mine) tells us to "... confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." Yet we're too ashamed to do this because we think "no one understands my struggles". If we're open and honest, we'd be amazed at how many people may relate in some way if not specifically the same.
This has been a hard call for me.I am a pastor's wife. I am held to a certain standard. If I show people a weakness, then too often I'm not who or what I should be as a pastor's wife. However, I promised myself that when we moved to Cincinnati I would be more transparent. It is my duty as a Christian to be this way (again, read James 5:16). Take it or leave it, but I know I am doing right by my Heavenly Father in this.
I seemed to have gotten on a mini-soap box but it fit the bill and tied in with this message. Besides, when the Spirit leads, you follow!
Pray for me to continue in this process with God and my prayer time as well as the decisions to be made for the following year. I'll be praying that the message here works in you in some way.
In Christ's love,
~C-Tay :)
I Chronicles 14:8-17 (emphasis mine)
I don't think it's a secret that I've been struggling with my placement this past year. When I accepted the position at CSR, I believed God had answered me concretely and opened the door for me to teach here in Cincinnati. CSR proved to be a challenging school to teach in for many reasons. Regardless, I did my best to remain steadfast and keep my head high as I followed God's direction in teaching here.
Lately I've been thinking and
I've been doing this reading plan from YouVersion (for a long time ... I typically find myself missing a day and then not ever catching myself up, although lately I've been knocking it out!! Whoo, go me! :D) called "Discipleship Journal's Book-at-a-time Reading Plan". This plan gives you 4-5 chapters each day to read, the first few are from the same book and the last is from one of the "poetry" books - you know, Psalm, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon/Songs (depending on your version lol). Saturday's reading was in I Chronicles and the second entry came from chapter 14. A short chapter, but the second section hit me deep. Here's the section one more time in case you forgot what you first read (I know I would've!)
8When
the Philistines heard that David had been anointed king over all
Israel, all the Philistines went up to search for David. But David heard
of it and went out against them. 9Now the Philistines had come and made a raid in the Valley of Rephaim. 10And David inquired of God, "Shall I go up against the Philistines? Will you give them into my hand?" And the Lord said to him, "Go up, and I will give them into your hand." 11And
he went up to Baal-perazim, and David struck them down there. And David
said, "God has broken through my enemies by my hand, like a bursting
flood." Therefore the name of that place is called Baal-perazim. 12And they left their gods there, and David gave command, and they were burned.
13And the Philistines yet again made a raid in the valley. 14And
when David again inquired of God, God said to him, "You shall not go up
after them; go around and come against them opposite the balsam trees.15And
when you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the balsam trees,
then go out to battle, for God has gone out before you to strike down
the army of the Philistines." 16And David did as God commanded him, and they struck down the Philistine army from Gibeon to Gezer.17And the fame of David went out into all lands, and the Lord brought the fear of him upon all nations.I Chronicles 14:8-17 (emphasis mine)
Why did it hit me deep? Because I see David's faithfulness playing out and realized I haven't been that faithful. I've been
Here's what I learned - I can't assume God wants me to stay because he originally opened this door. I can't assume God wants me to move on simply because I'm not happy. I can't wish for things to just fall into place. I need to have an open dialogue with Him about what I want and need and how I feel about it. But not only that, I need to just be straight with Him and ask simply "What should I do?" and wait for His response. I've been spending
We've talked about prayer a lot at youth group and have been focusing a lot of our beginning time on prayer and going to God with things. Josh has emphasized time and time again, God wants to hear from us. God wants to know how I feel, even if He already knows it, because He wants to be my BFF. How many of you have BFF's that know there's something up before you've even said anything?! That's how God works! Not only that, but God wants to give us directions on how to deal with the problems and requests we bring to Him - if we'd just listen. Again, how many of you have BFF's that you go to for advice and then after spilling your guts just turn around and leave before they say anything? It's just not normal behavior to do that to your BFF! You wait for them to give you some direction, even if they sit in silence to sort out all the details, you sit and wait. This is how we need to treat our prayer time with God! Yet, too often, we cut it short. "Well I said everything I needed to say. Love ya. Goodnight." God commands us to "be still and know that I am God" in Psalm 46:10. We need to take the time to sit in His presence and know what comes next.
Please understand, this is just as much a call to action for myself as it is to all Christians. I struggle greatly in my own personal prayer life in
This has been a hard call for me.
I seemed to have gotten on a mini-soap box but it fit the bill and tied in with this message. Besides, when the Spirit leads, you follow!
Pray for me to continue in this process with God and my prayer time as well as the decisions to be made for the following year. I'll be praying that the message here works in you in some way.
In Christ's love,
~C-Tay :)
