I've been putting off writing here because I keep hoping for good news to share with you. And as I write this, I realize - no matter our circumstances, I will always have Good News to share with you. Let me tell you a story...
A long time ago, in a country far away from where we live now, a husband and wife were sharing an afternoon snack. Unfortunately for them, this snack turned out to be rotten for their bodies and caused them a great sickness which in turn was passed down from generation to generation. Over time, God sent messages through prophets and those who sought after Him about His plans of redemption from this sickness. While God didn't promise complete healing in this life, He did promise complete healing in the next.
His plan of redemption started out with a baby boy. This little boy was not ordinary by any means, his birth took place in a barn. His childhood he spent in the Jewish synagogues teaching others about God. His adult life was spent traveling over what we know as the Middle East, preaching the healing of our sickness that had been passed down. After about three years of this traveling, the Jewish leaders grew angry and jealous of His teachings and plotted His death (this all goes back to the messages God had sent to the prophets of old about His plans for redemption). The Jewish leaders finally were able to capture this not-so-ordinary man and had Him put to death. Little did they realize, this was all a part of God's plan and in three days, the plan would be complete.
Now that the plan has been executed and completed, it is on our hands completely whether we accept the plan God has set forth. You see, the husband and wife were Adam and Eve. The snack they had that in turn was rotten for the body and caused sickness was a piece of fruit from the Tree of Good and Evil. That sickness is death because of the knowledge of all things good and evil. And that little not-so-ordinary boy who turned into a not-so-ordinary man who was killed for His faith and teachings was Jesus.
Now it's a great thing if you know this story through and through, but it will not give you the redemption God has planned. The Bible tells us that even the demons know God, but that does not mean they are saved. Instead they shudder in His presence (James 2:19). Jesus told us in John 14:6-7 "'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.'"
We have to come to know Jesus fully, as Lord and Savior before we can know and see God. That is something that I (Colleen) struggled with comprehending for a long time. I let other things - mainly guys and relationships - rule my life instead of giving my life to God completely. It wasn't until I realized that by taking my life into my own hands, I was only hurting myself more and ending up right back to square one with God. I was living how I desired, hoping to fit God in as I went, and getting hurt in the process only to fall right back at His feet. It was always a complete circle. I realized that I could avoid that "heartache" if I just trusted and followed God's plans for my life and fit in my own desires as we went along. That choice has been the best choice I've made in my life thus far. Once I made that choice things began to fall into place for my life.
Where we are now, the stalemate we've been experiencing since January, has me questioning whether we're following God's plans for us and fitting our life into His mold or if we're following our own desires and trying to fit God into our mold. I cannot honestly answer that at this moment. The desire to go and work outside of the US in His name is so strong, but I also feel like because of where my heart is with some things that maybe I'm just "running" away from them by leaving the country to do mission work. So it leaves me with this question - will our stalemate not end until I'm no longer "running away"?
Some people may think "I can't believe she's admitting her struggles or doubts" but here's the thing - we should be able to say these things because if you're a believer you can be in prayer for us, you can offer encouragement, and you can hold us accountable to follow after God's desires first. God has really been laying that accountability thing on my heart - why as a body of believer's are we so afraid to do it? Why is there little to no accountability within our church (American Churches in general) today? Jesus was always keeping people accountable - His disciples, the pharisees, the general public. Some people accepted it - they were the ones who continued to follow after Him. And some people denied it - they were the ones who in the end plotted His death.
Even if I'm living by my desires and trying to fit God into our mold, my prayer is and has been to live by His desires and fit our life into His mold. So I ask that you pray that with us, so that if we are living by our mold, God may change it to be His mold.
Remember, there is always good news to share - the Good News of Christ is always something to talk about!
In Christ's Love,
Colleen
***If you made it through this whole post and you have questions about the Gospel or any of the other stuff I wrote about, please do not hesitate to contact us! We'd love to talk and share more about Christ with you!***
