Get out of that Fish!

"The Lord gave this message to Jonah son of Amittai: 'Get up and go to the great city of Nineveh....' But Jonah got up and went in the opposite direction to get away from the Lord. He went down to the port of Joppa, where he found a ship leaving for Tarshish. He bought a ticket and went on board, hoping to escape from the Lord by sailing to Tarshish." So, Jonah sails. A storm comes. Sailors ask for help from their gods. Jonah comes forth as the reason and is tossed overboard (his idea), the sailors then turn to God. God sends a Fish to swallow him up for 3 days and 3 nights. Jonah prayed - the whole time he was in the Fish. The Fish spits him out. "Then the Lord spoke to Jonah a second time: 'Get up and go to the great city of Nineveh, and deliver the message I have given you.' This time Jonah obeyed the Lord's command and went to Nineveh..." Jonah 1-3

I feel like we've been Jonah. God gave us the direction and we ran from it. When we were first told by LAM that long term ministry in Costa Rica was most likely not an option, we were heartbroken. When we were given the option to still go, but on a short term basis, I (Colleen) felt pitied. I didn't want it. I wanted long term Missions - that's what I said I signed up for. So I ran - with Josh in tow (Ethan didn't get much say lol). I think we both wanted to believe that with everything we had gone through in the last two years in our home-town ministry that God wanted something "bigger" from us than just a "measly" short-term expedition to Costa Rica. So instead of listening to God and His direction, we "sailed" away on our own to get to the long-term, putting off time that could've been spent actually doing what God direction was originally.

Now, like Jonah's running, some good has come from our running as well. While we haven't saved a fleet of sailors aboard a ship, we have started a Marriage Sunday School class to work on building our marriages up instead of tearing them down. We had a college-aged Bible Study happening every week during the summer. We have grown as a couple together and as individuals spiritually in so many ways within this last year as well.

This last weekend was our Mission Conference at church - boy do I love this weekend, I always get a good recharge and God just lays that mission desire so heavily on my heart - anyways, during Sunday's Sermon all I kept hearing from God was "Short-term". Then, as Josh and I drove home from dinner that evening, he says to me "I think I'm going to contact Erika tomorrow about getting the ball rolling with the short-term stuff." WOW! God had obviously been speaking to the both of us since my last post about if our hearts desires were in line with His. Ever since that conversation with Josh on Sunday, God has continuously brought the story of Jonah to my mind. As I sit and meditate on it and think about how God had to tell Jonah twice over to "GO!" I kept hearing Him yell "Get out of that Fish!"

Well, we finally had our meeting with Erika last night. Like, when Jonah admitted to the sailors that it was his God who was angry and it was his fault there was a storm, they threw him overboard for God to deal with him and the storm stopped. So too, it seems, our storm has stopped. The process has started up again, the ball once more rolling as we begin to make preparations and take the necessary steps to go forth on a short-term trip to Costa Rica. God has already blessed the process - we just need to abide in Him through it all.

Praying for you that you may experience all that God has desired for your life like we have been able to so far in ours.

In Christ's Love,
~Colleen :)

Good News?

I've been putting off writing here because I keep hoping for good news to share with you. And as I write this, I realize - no matter our circumstances, I will always have Good News to share with you. Let me tell you a story...

A long time ago, in a country far away from where we live now, a husband and wife were sharing an afternoon snack. Unfortunately for them, this snack turned out to be rotten for their bodies and caused them a great sickness which in turn was passed down from generation to generation. Over time, God sent messages through prophets and those who sought after Him about His plans of redemption from this sickness. While God didn't promise complete healing in this life, He did promise complete healing in the next.

His plan of redemption started out with a baby boy. This little boy was not ordinary by any means, his birth took place in a barn. His childhood he spent in the Jewish synagogues teaching others about God. His adult life was spent traveling over what we know as the Middle East, preaching the healing of our sickness that had been passed down. After about three years of this traveling, the Jewish leaders grew angry and jealous of His teachings and plotted His death (this all goes back to the messages God had sent to the prophets of old about His plans for redemption). The Jewish leaders finally were able to capture this not-so-ordinary man and had Him put to death. Little did they realize, this was all a part of God's plan and in three days, the plan would be complete.

Now that the plan has been executed and completed, it is on our hands completely whether we accept the plan God has set forth. You see, the husband and wife were Adam and Eve. The snack they had that in turn was rotten for the body and caused sickness was a piece of fruit from the Tree of Good and Evil. That sickness is death because of the knowledge of all things good and evil. And that little not-so-ordinary boy who turned into a not-so-ordinary man who was killed for His faith and teachings was Jesus.

Now it's a great thing if you know this story through and through, but it will not give you the redemption God has planned. The Bible tells us that even the demons know God, but that does not mean they are saved. Instead they shudder in His presence (James 2:19). Jesus told us in John 14:6-7 "'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.'"

We have to come to know Jesus fully, as Lord and Savior before we can know and see God. That is something that I (Colleen) struggled with comprehending for a long time. I let other things - mainly guys and relationships - rule my life instead of giving my life to God completely. It wasn't until I realized that by taking my life into my own hands, I was only hurting myself more and ending up right back to square one with God. I was living how I desired, hoping to fit God in as I went, and getting hurt in the process only to fall right back at His feet. It was always a complete circle. I realized that I could avoid that "heartache" if I just trusted and followed God's plans for my life and fit in my own desires as we went along. That choice has been the best choice I've made in my life thus far. Once I made that choice things began to fall into place for my life.

Where we are now, the stalemate we've been experiencing since January, has me questioning whether we're following God's plans for us and fitting our life into His mold or if we're following our own desires and trying to fit God into our mold. I cannot honestly answer that at this moment. The desire to go and work outside of the US in His name is so strong, but I also feel like because of where my heart is with some things that maybe I'm just "running" away from them by leaving the country to do mission work. So it leaves me with this question - will our stalemate not end until I'm no longer "running away"?

Some people may think "I can't believe she's admitting her struggles or doubts" but here's the thing - we should be able to say these things because if you're a believer you can be in prayer for us, you can offer encouragement, and you can hold us accountable to follow after God's desires first. God has really been laying that accountability thing on my heart - why as a body of believer's are we so afraid to do it? Why is there little to no accountability within our church (American Churches in general) today? Jesus was always keeping people accountable - His disciples, the pharisees, the general public. Some people accepted it - they were the ones who continued to follow after Him. And some people denied it - they were the ones who in the end plotted His death.

Even if I'm living by my desires and trying to fit God into our mold, my prayer is and has been to live by His desires and fit our life into His mold. So I ask that you pray that with us, so that if we are living by our mold, God may change it to be His mold.

Remember, there is always good news to share - the Good News of Christ is always something to talk about!

In Christ's Love,
Colleen
 
***If you made it through this whole post and you have questions about the Gospel or any of the other stuff I wrote about, please do not hesitate to contact us! We'd love to talk and share more about Christ with you!***

What is taking so long?

I feel like this is the real answer people are wanting when they ask us where we are in the process. Then as I try and explain what our current situation in the process is, I always get that "Ohhh...." (you know, the one where people are feeling sorry for you but really don't have anything else to say).

Here's the basics - we're going to Costa Rica no matter what once our loans are consolidated. We just don't know if we'll be gone for the long or short term. We both have talked and decided that this is the direction God is leading us, we're just not sure which type of term He's leading us to and we're trusting in Him that we get there. See, no matter what our loans total, I know with all my heart that God will take care of us. He will provide.

How do I know this? Because He has yet to fail me in this area. Every time money has gotten tight and we've had to scrap around, He has blessed us in many ways. Whether it was a refund check or just the simple fact of family members buying us food - or building a basement apartment for us to crash in until we leave - He has provided.

The provisions He has given to us in this last year have not ceased to amaze me. I just wish (a human flesh moment) that we could direct some of those provisions towards our loans, because it is just a headache. How sweeter life would be without the burden of student loans.

Since we won't actually start any support raising until after our consolidation and a portion of our support will be to pay off our monthly balance of student loans anyways we have decided to start a campaign on indiegogo. The way I see it is that if we raise the $90,000 we set our goal to - Awesome, Hurrah, Praise the Lord! If we only raise the $200 that has already been donated - Awesome, Hurrah, Praise the Lord! No matter what amount we have at the end of this campaign, God will have blessed it. Like I said, we know we will already be going to Costa Rica, it's just a matter of a long or short term stay.

With that being said, I'll leave you with two things...
The link to our campaign ....
http://www.indiegogo.com/jctministry
and
Prayer Requests...
1) The Colleen could land a teaching job if it's in God's will for the next year (this will greatly increase our income and help cover the cost of student loans even more so!).
2) That the loan consolidation would come out to Josh and Colleen's desires - hoping it's the same as God's desire.
3) That we continue to be ever conscientious of our spending habits and not over spend when we shouldn't be spending at all.

Love in Christ,
Colleen :)

The Easy Way Out

I had to take the car I’ve been borrowing since my poor Taurus has bit the dust to the glass place for a new windshield and back window from the hail damage. I decided that since it was nice enough out that Ethan and I would just walk home. As we walked, we passed a few houses for sale. Cute houses, probably the same as the church house we lived in last year while Josh was still on staff, but at the same time old-fashioned, simple houses. As I looked at the architecture and admired it and daydreamed about living there I found myself thinking, “why don’t we just buy a house like this and just live here – it’d be much easier than dealing with what we’re dealing with.”

How often do we do this. Not just think this or say it but actually do it – you know, take the “easy way” out? Sure, living in the U.S., working the jobs we have (or a teaching position for me Lord willing) would definitely be much easier than having to figure out finances, make plans for paying off student loans, moving to the middle of the America’s away from family and friends. But would the easy way out really be worth it? Maybe in the short term, maybe in the here and now, during our life on earth, but when the day comes and the Lord calls us home, the “easy way out” would never come close to the things God is truly waiting for us to experience by following Him and His plan.

This thought made me think of a movie Josh and I watched recently called “What If…” It is a Christian movie, made by the same people who made the “Left Behind” Series, so yes, it was a bit cheesy. Anyways, the storyline is a man leaves for a big city job hoping to make money for his future family – at the time he’s dating someone from back home. He gets lost in the fast paced city life and leaves behind his beliefs and hometown girlfriend. 15 years later, God intervenes – or as Priscilla Shirer calls them, Divine Interventions – sends him back home on a “what if” trip where he’s married to that hometown girlfriend and has two daughters and is a preacher. He relearns and remembers what our life as Christians should truly be about – glorifying God and serving Him. My point with this movie was that when he left 15 years prior for the big city and left behind all he had believed in he ended up taking the “easy road” and gaining “power, fame, and fortune” within this world – BUT if he had just listened to God and to his hometown girlfriend he would’ve had all of that stored up in heaven waiting for him AND not losing 15 years with her.

What I’m trying to say is that the “easy way out” really, in the end, isn’t the easy way. Not when it comes to answering to God for our lives and being held accountable for our actions. Sure, the Christian life isn’t easy, but it’s not meant to be. How could we ever lean and trust in God if it was?

I’ve tried the “easy way” in my past and every time I always ended up right back at the feet of Jesus asking for forgiveness. I’m not willing to give in to the “easy way” – no matter how appealing it may seem, when I know that the rewards from God – whether they are seen in this life or the next – will be a million times sweeter than anything I could ever imagine while living the “easy way”.

I pray that if you’ve been walking down the “easy road” that maybe this post will get you thinking about things. I pray that if you are there, that you will turn to God’s open arms and rest in His blessings for once instead of the world’s.

Please continue to pray for us and strength through this process. It is a lot harder than I think we truly let on.

In Christ,

Colleen

Moses & Pharaoh in God's Timing

Exodus 3-11, 12:31-50, 13:17-14:31

Moses was told to go to Pharaoh and ask for the freedom of the Israelites. He was told to throw down his staff as it became a snake. This was not good enough. Then, God sent 10 different plagues upon the Egyptians because of Pharaoh's harden heart. Finally, what God had promised had come to fruition - Pharaoh told Moses to leave and take the Israelite slaves, only to change his mind once more and follow after them. God rescued them and provided the Israelites safe passage across the Red Sea. It took Moses close to a month (from what I, Colleen, can calculate) to "convince" Pharaoh, through God, to let His people go. Not even taking into consideration the time spent in the desert before arriving at the Promised Land, it puts things into perspective how God's timing is not always our own.

As I explained to a dear friend, I call her my soul sister and I thank God for her everyday because of the encouragement and sensible advice she gives me when I need it the most, the most recent development in our missionary status (or really, lack there of) she reminded me that these obstacles that keep popping up in our path to following God can very well be lessons from God. She reminded me that, and I quote, "you need to be ready for battle in God's way. You won't have support out there, comfort, or always a solid plan. I look at what He could be potentially teaching you by staying at our church, by needing a miracle to get regular financing, by being forced to be patient... (why, oh why did I ask God for more patience?! :P) By one struggle after another. God doesn't waste these moments... He has given you the dream ... but the timing is His as well." How often do we overlook these moments of frustration, these moments of "new" news - good or bad - for what they are worth. Lessons from God.

Think back to Moses. Every time Moses was to perform per God's will he responded with angst and anger. (Ex 3::11, 13, 4:1, 10, 13, 5:22, 6:12) then when he finally accepted God's will and went to Pharaoh, Pharaoh continuously changed his mind. How frustrating that must have been for Moses. Here he was blatantly told by God in the form of a burning - but not consuming fire - bush, "I have watched over you and have seen what has been done to you in Egypt. And I have promised to bring you up out of your misery in Egypt into the land of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites - a land flowing with milk and honey." (Ex 3:16b-17) There was no time frame for when He was going to do it, just the simple fact that He would take care of it. Now, I know how I would react when receiving a message like that from God - "Sweet, God's saving us today!" That's not how it happened though. God took His time, worked some miracles - in which I'm sure a few people turned to Him from their other gods, and taught Moses some patience I'm sure as well. The point is, God's timing is not always our timing. We may think, "this is happening today" when in all reality God will let it happen tomorrow because He still has a few things left to teach us and show us today.

So what do we do with this? We live knowing that 1) God will take care of us, no matter what the circumstance, time frame, situation is. And we live knowing that 2) each and every day is a chance to live for God and show others what God is doing in our lives at that very moment.

God is teaching me patience and to trust in Him with the desires that He has given me.
God is teaching me how to handle bad news with a Godly attitude.
God is teaching me maybe, just maybe, there's still some kind of work He desires out of us here in Collinsville before we're able to leave for Costa Rica.

Please continue to be in prayer about our financial status as we still have some unanswered questions in regards to financial stability - with or without our missionary status ... student loans are not our friend :)
Also, prayer for a possible teaching job next year, since as of right now we feel we will be home-bound for quite a while longer.
Praise that Josh's current job is providing great assistance to our financial needs and he is excelling there also.

We love you all and thank you so much for your continued prayers and support as we work through the initial sending off!

In Christ,
Colleen :)

A Change in Plans

God tell us, “For I know the plans I have for you…” (Jer. 29:11) Sometimes, it’s hard to swallow those plans. Sometimes it’s hard to see only a portion of the plan, especially when that portion is not even anything close to what you were originally thinking it would be.

God set us on a path. The path we’ve been on for the last 6 months was to mission work through LAM in Costa Rica. This last Thursday, we were informed that our original plan for a long-term stay would not be possible with our current debt situation. Due to excessive student loans, our monthly payments became too high, and in our best interest LAM did not want to send us and have us paying it off forever. Had the loan debt been as high as we originally thought (we did not add in my [Colleen’s] graduate debt) we would have been reasonably ok – I mean let’s be honest, no debt would be perfect! – but our original budget plan would’ve worked out okay.

What does this mean for us? For “our” plans? That’s the million dollar question right now. LAM offered a 1-2 year term setting up the junior high program they originally wanted Josh to set up and lead. But that leaves us with the “what happens after two years?” After everything we’ve given up and put ourselves through with moving from our house into a friends basement (who are basically family to us), I think the correct phrase to say is “we’re scared”.

You know writing this for your understanding has brought me to a deeper understanding. When the 1-2 year term proposal was made, I felt cheated and pitied. I didn’t want to accept it. Josh kept saying, “maybe this was all God wanted from us to begin with” but both of us couldn’t let our hearts believe it. Regardless, this post has made me realize that while I’m sitting here saying that I’m trusting in Jesus through this all, I really am not.

In my heart, I’ve already made my decision without even asking for His guidance. How selfish can I be? I plan to change this. We still have a few days before we meet with Erica again and give her our answer on the short term proposal. I need to be devoted in prayer over this. I need God’s wisdom and desires for our lives to shine through my own selfish, fleshly desires.

Will you pray with us as we head into this week and learn of God’s plan?

In Christ’s Love,

Colleen